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The difficult questions
As we face our mortality, whether
death is in fact weeks or decades away, we inevitably come
up with questions about life’s mysteries: Is
there meaning to life? What is the point if we are
ultimately going to die? Do we simply vanish when we die,
or is there an afterlife? Is there a Being, Existence, or
Force that is larger than ourselves? Will we be judged for
how we have lived? Why have we been given the conditions we’ve
been given? If we are in pain, why are we suffering? If we
know we are dying, what reason is there for hope?
Most of us do not wake up each
morning pondering such deep philosophical issues. But when
we are faced with a serious illness, these concerns become
very important. Whether we observe the traditions of an organized
religion or not, considering the prospect of death causes
us to look at where the Human meets the Divine and question
our understanding of the spiritual side of life. Many people
use this opportunity to reexamine their priorities and determine
whether, or how, they can make changes so that the time they
have left is meaningful, be it years or days.
For some people, this reassessment
means resolving relationships,
working on forgiveness, and concentrating on the love shared
with the people they care about. For others, it means adopting
a spiritual practice and finding ways to focus on the sacred,
even in the midst of chaos.
Whether you are a caregiver
or a patient, coping with a life-threatening condition is
disruptive not only to the physical side of life, but also
to our relationships, our self image, and our understanding
of justice and fairness in the world. Spirituality is a way
to bring order to that chaos and meaning to suffering.
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The purpose in suffering
All the major religions address
the issue of suffering. It is common for people with distressing
conditions to get mad about the situation, ask "Why me?",
and shake a fist at God. Expressing that anger can be very
healing. It can open the heart to other important realizations,
including "God loves me" and "God is with me."
Odd as it may sound, most people
eventually come to understand that bad things happen, even
to good people. As they give up the idea of being able to
control their life, the outcome becomes less important than
the dignity and grace they use to handle each passing day.
They find spiritual solace by looking for the gifts in their
condition, whether it is terminal or chronic.
Some people recognize their
illness as an opportunity to reflect on their life and make
amends while they are still able. Some determine that their
disease is God’s will and use the opportunity to surrender
to a Higher Power. Finding themselves facing the intersection
of the physical world with the world of spirit, others embrace
a transcendent view, opening to a spacious understanding of
their soul’s deathless essence.
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Ritual as a source of strength
Whatever your inclination, ritual
may help you come to terms with what is undeniably a stressful
situation. Ritual helps us mark events or realizations in
our lives. It lifts us above the humdrum of daily existence
and calls out the sacred within us. With its familiar patterns,
ritual can offer comfort and ease our distress. It can be
a source of inner strength.
Daily rituals—prayer, meditation,
the lighting of candles, the holding of hands before a meal—raise
us quickly to a reminder of our spiritual nature, that we
are more than what we appear. Rituals that mark specific life
passages help us remember that many have gone through this
journey before and others will do so after us. Ritual can
provide a thread of continuity in this way, tying us to the
past and future. It can also help connect us with our community.
If your spiritual practice offers
rituals, you might wish to bring them more to the fore in
your life. The roles and activities prescribed by tradition
can offer a safe place to express feelings and explore the
meaning of what is happening to you and those you love. If
you do not have specific practices, you can certainly create
them. Rituals tend to include one or more of the following
elements:
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